New Year

Well, I think I should merge my baby/preggy's blog into my current blog. I realized that these 2 come together, my life and hers, like most of what I do now will involve her. Will do so soon.

Anyway, this is a new year, and the new year marks a new status for me, for us all, a big change. I am now a mummy. I no longer have to answer just for myself, I have to answer for this precious little girl. I can't just do what I like, as and when I like, I now have to consider my baby. For now, especially now, she depends on me, she feeds off me, literally. At times, I pity GG coz he gets less attention from me now, and he has to do most things himself. Sorry GG, after everything, I will start doing stuff for you. I am so proud of you and how you've handled everything.

Well, I thought being pregnant was the tough part, until I gave birth and have to go through the "confinement". I cannot go out, that's ok actually, most of the time. The dreadful thing is that I have to consume all those jamus and ubat periuks and can't eat and drink whatever I like. It is no wonder why women get post-natal blues. Everytime I had to drink those stuff, my mood goes wayyy down, I feel damn depressed, like really, sometimes I feel like crying, think once I did cry. I have to drink the ubat periuk like after my meals, and as such I dread eating my meals. I have poor appetite now, not feeling like eating much, when after all that feeding my baby, I should be really hungry and all right, but I am eating much less than I normally eat, though I do eat regularly. My breakfast which started off (before the ubat periuks sessions) with milo and 2 slices of bread, at times 3, now has just dropped to a glass of milo. I used to have tea-time and after dinner milo, which has disappeared along with my appetite. I can't finish my lunch, and at times my dinner, if my mum served rice. Noodles are fine, but still nothing compared to what I normally ate previously. There will be this smell of the ubat periuks that turns me off all the time. I vomited like 4-5 times already. My mum said I will get used to it, but no way, my last vomited-out-the-jamu moment was this morning, which shows that I have yet gotten used to all that and I don't think I ever will.

They say the jamus and ubat periuks are good - who will ever know whether they are bad since everyone has been forced to eat them and so no one really dared not to drink them because of what the old people have said. Sigh, I for one, is one of them. So put myself through the torture for the sake of when I get old. My pee has this strong smell (thanks to the ubat periuks and jamus), and my faeces is black!

Other than the horrendous experience with the consumption of the toxic stuffs (which is a major the cause of my depressed moments), I have to put on the (is it called) pilis stuff on the forehead, wear a binder, not drink cold water even though it is damn hot... I had the post-natal massage for a week, started a week after I gave birth. But these are fine, I can do that anytime.

Another cause of feeling down (okay more like cranky), is when the baby is having difficulty falling asleep at night, and you are already very tired, and you do not know what to do... So forgive me if I do not feel like talking much at night because I am tired (especially after 10pm), and I have a long night ahead and all I want to do is to settle my baby and me to bed.

So the only thing stopping me from having another baby - the jamus and ubat periuks. Even as I am writing this, I can imagine the pukey taste of the jamu... Yikes!

As of last Sunday, I have lost 10kg in all :)