Overdue

Note: This was written before the wedding, just that I had no chance to publish it.


No, it's not that time of the year that I need to reflect back on what has taken place in my past year and make new resolutions for the coming one, it's bigger than that. Well, I am going to have a change in status soon, 27th December 2008, to be exact. No longer can I tick "Single" in registration forms. Not that I have been single all this while, just that I will soon be married. Whoah, big word, bigger responsibilities. No longer shall I be accountable for myself to myself, I need to be accountable to ......my husband (need to get use calling him that) and no doubt we have been together for some time but this time, it's the real thing. No more running into my shell called my room when I need to be alone or want to shut out the world, coz soon I'll have to share my shell with him.

True, we see each other a lot but living together, that's a different ballgame and I think both of us would have to adapt to that. Even after so long, there's so many more things we need to learn and understand about each other and it won't be easy since both of us can be quite stubborn. Am I scared? I sure am. Coz I do want be a good wife, and I am afraid I might suck at it. Just like how sometimes I think I haven't been a good enough grand-daughter, daughter or sister. I know there will be challenges along the way, and I hope that I will be able to deal with those well, we will able to work through those and that our marriage will be strong enough for them, InsyaAllah.

Anyway, I was just thinking through my past 2* years of life and our relationship. We practically grew together, from teenagers to adults, from studying to NS to worklife, from taking 190 to driving back. My 'A' levels, my graduation, my first job, current job, Vio, all those times. And all this while whenever I felt horrible about myself, went through periods of "depression" and lack self-belief, he was there to hold my hands and tell me that everything's going to be fine.

We went through rough times and happy moments. There were really horrible times. There were times we had to be strong for each other and it was very challenging. But there were much more lovely times, really wonderful, when we were just happy. We held each other up when the other one needed it, and of course there were times that we faltered, but we made it through in the end. InsyaAllah our marriage would be just as strong, if not stronger.